Notes on Loving and being Loved

On June 11th, I lost my Blessed Mother to Dementia at age 92. This was a fairly early death for my family - many of us live to be 100 years old or beyond.  In September I married the hospice lady - a love story.  But, as middle-aged men tend to be "maudlin" (thinking of the past with fond sorrow), tonight over a whisky sour (a drink), I began to think about Mom, and my new wife, and the future.

Not always a good idea, but hey - I've shed a tear before and it didn't kill me.  I'm no spring chicken.  I saw something on TV that got me thinking about tomorrows, long life, the future now that I've found love.  It was sweet but scary.  Someday, one or another of us; Judy or I, or just as tough, a close member of my newly expanded family of (step) brothers, sisters, daughters, sons, grandkids - will eventually pass away.

Love kind of makes us vulnerable you see, vulnerable to occasional deep sorrow.  Grief - is a touch emotion to bear.

Why was I thinking that way?  Well, a few minutes before I sat down to write this I saw an advertisement on my BBC cable channel for a show called Doctor Who - a fictional character who because of the plotline, is a person who will live a very, very long life.

 The Doctor Who ad got me thinking - he spoke for my Mother in a way....

"To live a long life is a mixed blessing - for you are destined to watch everyone and everything pass away as your life goes on and on."

Tom Hank's character on the movie "The Green Mile" said essentially the same thing - a very touching scene.  He was explaining to a lovely older woman whom he loved his long life, and in a way pre-grieving her - indeed, the next scene was her funeral.

My mother lived long - almost all the people she knew, her husband, her daughter (My sister Mary), and hundreds and hundreds of deeply loved people, places, jobs and moments all long past; dead, gone, turned to dust and cherished sadness of sweet memory.

Queen Elizabeth said goodbye to the man who helped raise her (the King was quite busy), her Uncle, and gave a eulogy just a few days after 9/11/2001.  But as the Queen of England she was speaking (as is her duty) not just to family and friends, but to the nation and indeed the world.  The September 11th tragedy made it more meaningful for many of us around the world (many British nationals died at the World Trade Center).


She said then that just as each birth guarantees a death, to choose to live with vigor, to love, not just once and when young but as an ongoing commitment to life is a terrible sacrifice, but a very sweet sorrow.

To Love is to Lose - you cannot cling to this life, all things will pass - it is the condition of the human experience as we walk the river of time through birth, growth, life and eventually, death.

To accept Love is to Lose.

But then she said (and I strongly believe it is true), that the only path of life, faith and hope is to take the risk, accept the pain and the agony of knowing this truth, and to choose love.

On September 9th I married a wonderful woman - the hospice lady for my Mother, the widow Mrs. Judy A. Jones. I'm an older man... and know only too well my time with her will be limited by fate, health and the relentless ticking of the clock. Here she is - she and I, at our wedding. It is a wonderful, strong and terrible love we share - knowing that the time and season of our years (we are both 50) is well past noon - and our days of life and love will someday come to an ending.

 I simply thank God, reality, whatever it is that creates this moment, for giving me the great good fortune to meet her... and to once more and for perhaps the last time, choose love.


John Hubertz, Fort Wayne, Indiana, December 2009.

All Diggers Welcome - Country Wedding in NW Ohio - Digg IT

Hey all -

Thanks to Digg and Blogspot and a few other eFriend and RealFriend interventions, we've survived.

The time is here - Mrs. Judy A. (Keezer) Jones of Cecil Ohio and the Rev. Colonel John Edward Redbear Hubertz of Fort Wayne, Indiana (and of course as a Ky Colonel - resident for life of the Commonwealth of Kentucky), would like you to consider joining us as we celebrate the traditional banns of matrimony tomorrow.

Place: Paulding County Courthouse Square, Paulding, Ohio

Time: 3:33 in the Afternoon, rain or shine

The ceremony of marriage will be followed by a country-style reception and dinner at the firehouse in Cecil, Ohio - 4 miles from Paulding and a million miles from the clamor of the city life.

A traditional pie-auction will help people get acquainted, and the proceeds will benefit the volunteer fire station and our restoration of a Colonial-Era log cabin at the nearby New Rochester historical site and Maumee River park.

Food, entertainment, music and dancing will be provided, and special diets can be accomodated if you're patient.

A combination no-smoking area and petting zoo will be available for those who choose to smell like goats rather then cigarettes.

Alcoholic beverages are not going to be officially provided, but sneaks and boozers are encouraged. You are welcome to bring it, but don't get sick and leave it here. Security will be light and the gals here are lonely - this is WAY out in the black swamp flatland and out-of-towners are welcomed now and always.

Thanks - and thanks for Digging for Liberty and Truth. God bless and see you there!

Welcome to the Black Swamp and the Maumee Scenic and Historic River Conservancy

Well, the time has arrived - we're as nervous as any parents, because many years of preparation, hopes and prayers have brought us to this beautiful moment.

The Carl and Bernice Hubertz Foundation and Right Hand Enterprises of Indiana are moving forward - we have reached the point in our path where we invest all that we have learned. A turning point, and we have chosen to return to where it all began.

No more babies to raise, but the world is still full of wonder and children who can teach we adults the magic in every leaf - to gasp at the myth and mystery that clings to our heritage like raindrops gliding down the mossy slopes into the o-hie-oa mau-ma (great river mother). That was the name for this sacred twisting winding river highway, this natural wonder that thanks to the people of Ohio and especially Paulding County, is preserved for its full length of through historic Paulding County in untamed wild and natural glory.

No dredging or straightening has changed the course of the Maumee in this furthest corner of the "far land" (Louis L'amour called it thus) - the wilderness that in the days it was first visited by white settlers (around 1670) was called the Great Black Swamp and represented the border. Beyond this river was unknown land, and the vast reaches of Wilderness America.

It was called the Northwest Territory then, it was the furthest reaches of the British Empire that ever occurred on the North American continent - for you see, this was over 130 YEARS before the Louisiana Purchase, long before Spain ceded California to the United States, and The Czar of Russia and King Louis of France still held claim to the wilderness to the North and Northwest.

Yes, empires indeed ended deep in these trees, and the great unknown experiment that became America owes some honor here as well. Benedict Arnold was captured near the site of the town of Paulding, only a few miles from the wonderful patch of untilled high-ground forest where we hope to build our dreams.

Fewer then 300 acres of untilled high swamp forest land are left. A low marshland woods is already a Ohio State Park near Bryant, but the unique ecosystem and history of the dry land - this is the history of mankind on the North American Continent.

Only in the Andes Mountains are there Archaelogical discoveries that rival the recent finds here. Unbelievable that this wonderful land - preserved merely by honored tradition all these years since the settlement late in the 1800s by farmers, is not just a National Treasure but a World Legacy Site - one of our goals is to achieve this status so even in the event of world conflict, every country is pledged to leave this land as it is - for the history here stretches a little further then Blackfoot and Shawnee and Fur Trappers in canoes... it stretches back at least so far - for 12,000 years.

You see, when the glaciers receded, man populated this rich region - once the most productive hunting and gathering site on the continent, first. At least, that is what the story of the ancient mounds and pot shards tell us so far. It could quite literally be the first true community of people in the Western Hemisphere of the globe.

Can you imagine - our excitement, a family seeking to again keep our mature lives in service of preservation and natural education as is the Hubertz heritage every twig, branch and limb of our family tree -- this is just, what we do. Don't ask why - but it is a life of love.

For my Mother to have seen this at 93 before she joins my Dad, for myself, John Hubertz, to meet Judy Jones here, and then to discover this precious treasure right at my Indiana doorstep? It was then I adopted a saying all who know me have heard probably too often. My name is John, and I'm the luckiest man alive.

So, here is our dream - part is an existing zero-impact study center, and part photoshopped - soon we hope to open our eyes and see it growing at a site likely just a few miles north. It will leave no scar upon the land - it was designed to be as temporary as we are.

This will be our first goal - to build a study center and library and caretaker's station. Small? Yes, but infinetly expandable - the core materials are recycled shipping containers. They are designed to be stacked like lego blocks - and it is FUN!

This proposed structure, it will be solar and geothermal to provide heat and appropriate ventilation. Solar panels with 12 volt give us ample power for lights and running water (a spring is nearby and a 3" PVC tap line is the only intrusion on that natural Aquefer - it won't miss a drop - a stream is formed at the outlet of the spring. That is on this wonderful Eaton Orphanage property.

So, it will not be a tent - for the library we must have satellite uplink, for comfort and cleanliness a hydrothermic deep-well hot water storage and recirculation system will require merely a 5" hole - it will be lined with a material that must be replaced every 100 years, as it meets our standards: This one place, stays as it was.

While we are green as Judy's thumb, we aren't tree huggers - trails, observation points and full access to any rational use by the people of Paulding County is our plan.

However, we are a bit concerned at the Hoosier untreated black water discharges upstream... we hope to provide the advocacy to keep this place and our drinking and fishing and falling-in-love river clean enough for the Walleye and the redheaded kid next door.

You see, if anyone wishes to poop here, we will have ample facilities without them using our river. I don't think we can accomodate the entire population of Fort Wayne - but, that may not be necessary for much longer.

We will fight for this land. Our fathers and forefathers did - and God knows you people have kept your pledge of allegiance - and it is still able to serve as an example to people everywhere.

__________________________________________

for current status - see the dated post titled "Dreams do come True" here in our blog

This project is now in planning and funding phases, and will be proposed to the County Commissioners and Paulding County citizens in August, 2009.

On September 9, 2009, we hope to hold the first celebration of Black Swamp heritage by staging the 312th anniversary Black Swamp rendesvous and jamboree.

We are proudly celebrating our fourth generation as supporters of the 4H clubs of America, and are associated with many people around the world who seek peace and unity, a sense of responsibility for the land and the people who as children are it's inheritors - and as adults are stewards for future generations.

The Black Swamp Hubertz-Nesius center is supported by the Right Hand Enterprises and Hubertz Family foundation - a small part of the worldwide activities of the Hubertz and Nesius families and their commitment to civic responsibility, justice, education and natural history/nature studies.

Our emphasis and commitment has one focus: To uplift, defend and strengthen the opportunities for our children.

In service of these goals, it is our hope to gain acceptance of this zero-emissions and tread-lightly certified structure and other trails and support buildings, and open trails, observation points and a library to foster understanding of the natural and human roots that have nourished the people of Paulding County - to whom we offer thanks for preserving this beautiful place.

Fewer then 300 acres of original black-swamp high-ground timberland are still untilled. This land was preserved by the Eaton family and donated to the citizens of Paulding County - with the instruction it not be converted to commercial use but held in trust for the children.

We are honored to offer a potential way to make this occur and enrich our community and provide enjoyment and a sense of wonder in the children and adults who study with us or visit.

John Hubertz and Judy Jones
Fort Wayne, Indiana and Cecil, Ohio

Join us! We are celebrating our wedding at the Paulding County Courthouse at 3:33 in the afternoon, on September 9th, 2009

The Hubertz-Jones families are united in support of helping each other and our neighbors live in peace and harmony, building homes and their own family traditions - and joined in community, living lives of courage and raising strong children.

To God be the Glory