Not always a good idea, but hey - I've shed a tear before and it didn't kill me. I'm no spring chicken. I saw something on TV that got me thinking about tomorrows, long life, the future now that I've found love. It was sweet but scary. Someday, one or another of us; Judy or I, or just as tough, a close member of my newly expanded family of (step) brothers, sisters, daughters, sons, grandkids - will eventually pass away.
Love kind of makes us vulnerable you see, vulnerable to occasional deep sorrow. Grief - is a touch emotion to bear.
Why was I thinking that way? Well, a few minutes before I sat down to write this I saw an advertisement on my BBC cable channel for a show called Doctor Who - a fictional character who because of the plotline, is a person who will live a very, very long life.
Love kind of makes us vulnerable you see, vulnerable to occasional deep sorrow. Grief - is a touch emotion to bear.
Why was I thinking that way? Well, a few minutes before I sat down to write this I saw an advertisement on my BBC cable channel for a show called Doctor Who - a fictional character who because of the plotline, is a person who will live a very, very long life.
"To live a long life is a mixed blessing - for you are destined to watch everyone and everything pass away as your life goes on and on."
Tom Hank's character on the movie "The Green Mile" said essentially the same thing - a very touching scene. He was explaining to a lovely older woman whom he loved his long life, and in a way pre-grieving her - indeed, the next scene was her funeral.
My mother lived long - almost all the people she knew, her husband, her daughter (My sister Mary), and hundreds and hundreds of deeply loved people, places, jobs and moments all long past; dead, gone, turned to dust and cherished sadness of sweet memory.
Queen Elizabeth said goodbye to the man who helped raise her (the King was quite busy), her Uncle, and gave a eulogy just a few days after 9/11/2001. But as the Queen of England she was speaking (as is her duty) not just to family and friends, but to the nation and indeed the world. The September 11th tragedy made it more meaningful for many of us around the world (many British nationals died at the World Trade Center).
She said then that just as each birth guarantees a death, to choose to live with vigor, to love, not just once and when young but as an ongoing commitment to life is a terrible sacrifice, but a very sweet sorrow.
To Love is to Lose - you cannot cling to this life, all things will pass - it is the condition of the human experience as we walk the river of time through birth, growth, life and eventually, death.
To accept Love is to Lose.
But then she said (and I strongly believe it is true), that the only path of life, faith and hope is to take the risk, accept the pain and the agony of knowing this truth, and to choose love.
On September 9th I married a wonderful woman - the hospice lady for my Mother, the widow Mrs. Judy A. Jones. I'm an older man... and know only too well my time with her will be limited by fate, health and the relentless ticking of the clock. Here she is - she and I, at our wedding. It is a wonderful, strong and terrible love we share - knowing that the time and season of our years (we are both 50) is well past noon - and our days of life and love will someday come to an ending.
I simply thank God, reality, whatever it is that creates this moment, for giving me the great good fortune to meet her... and to once more and for perhaps the last time, choose love.
John Hubertz, Fort Wayne, Indiana, December 2009.
She said then that just as each birth guarantees a death, to choose to live with vigor, to love, not just once and when young but as an ongoing commitment to life is a terrible sacrifice, but a very sweet sorrow.
To Love is to Lose - you cannot cling to this life, all things will pass - it is the condition of the human experience as we walk the river of time through birth, growth, life and eventually, death.
To accept Love is to Lose.
But then she said (and I strongly believe it is true), that the only path of life, faith and hope is to take the risk, accept the pain and the agony of knowing this truth, and to choose love.
On September 9th I married a wonderful woman - the hospice lady for my Mother, the widow Mrs. Judy A. Jones. I'm an older man... and know only too well my time with her will be limited by fate, health and the relentless ticking of the clock. Here she is - she and I, at our wedding. It is a wonderful, strong and terrible love we share - knowing that the time and season of our years (we are both 50) is well past noon - and our days of life and love will someday come to an ending.
I simply thank God, reality, whatever it is that creates this moment, for giving me the great good fortune to meet her... and to once more and for perhaps the last time, choose love.
John Hubertz, Fort Wayne, Indiana, December 2009.
